Reflections on Being a Toy
by Pixiestick-cc
Summary: Jessie reflects on all she's ever known about her life as a toy. Takes place at the end of Toy Story 3.


**Author's Note** - I'm sure most of the people that have me on author alert were not expecting this little one-shot to pop up in their emails. It isn't anything I planned to write, considering all I've ever done up until now is focus on the POVs of Jasper and Bella from Twilight. But, after having seen 'Toy Story 3' for the third time (yes, you read that correctly) my mind just couldn't shut off. It's been a long while since a movie has touched me the way TS3 did and so, this sort of came out of me contemplating the whole fantasy aspect of this world ofToy Story. Toys were alive ... ok ... what was it like to be a toy and since they added a little bit of romance in the third movie I started wondering what was it like for a toy to love. Yeah, laugh if you want. But, this sort of just spilled out of me over a two day period.

Thanks to Chaney for looking this story over, since I was too embarrassed to give this to my beta. lol

* * *

She was a toy.

It was very plain to her all these years now, that this was what she was. Unlike her owners, Emily, Andy and now Bonnie, who were alive, Jessie was not. They were humans with beating hearts and lots of other parts inside that kept them moving. Instead she had been created, and given a back story to boot, by some self important men sitting in a 1950s office. They had decided which characteristics went well with the level-headed Sheriff Woody for the television show Woody's Roundup. And so her character was pieced together over time to eventually become a spitfire of sorts. Those men, her designers, created a cowgirl that was headstrong, spoke her mind, but was also very compassionate. She was able to deeply feel the emotions of others. She figured it was a way to help her relate to critters like her horse, Bullseye, who were not given the ability to speak like she was. They deliberately made Jessie to be the exact opposite of her male counterpart, who thought with his brain and not his gut, like she did. That was never a problem for them on the show, though. It was a kids program, nothing but friendship was ever insinuated between the two main characters. No chance for opposites to attract there.

From the start the only love Jessie had experienced was the kind that came from the relationship she had with her owner. When Emily loved her it was the strongest and deepest emotion she felt. She may not have been alive, but deep down into the cotton fibers of her cowgirl costume, Jessie thought she knew what love was, and nothing would ever measure up to the sadness she experienced when she was discarded by Emily. She had been tossed away and picked up by a toy collector who didn't care to love her, but rather placed her in the darkness of a cardboard box. Her time spent alone made Jessie realize what it was when folks talked about having their heart broken. She may not have had one herself, but something was certainly broken inside her and the emptiness of being alone nearly destroyed her hope in love. What was the point of being a toy if you couldn't keep that love of a child with you? Eventually all children moved on, but Jessie wasn't able to forget.

She had gotten lucky the second time. The circumstances that led her to Andy were head scratching at best for the little cowgirl, but she never questioned it. Besides, she was no longer alone. There was a new kid who loved her and new toys that brought her into their family. Before, she had dealt with jealousy from Emily's other toys for being the favorite. It wasn't her fault, but she had been an outcast among the other play things. This time was different. Jessie was accepted by the others like her in Andy's room. She did reckon that a few of Andy's other toys were intimidated by her loud and spastic ways, but that was who she was made to be. It wasn't in her programming to be shy and timid no matter how hard she tried. There was no way she could change that, although she did at times try to simmer down her emotions when it was plain that it created an air of awkwardness for some.

There was one of Andy's toys in particular that found her hard to stomach, or at least that's what she thought at first. Buzz, the best friend of her cowboy equivalent, Woody, acted uncomfortable around Jessie and wasn't near her for more than a few seconds at a time before finding some excuse to leave. At first that only made her try harder, using her free time in between play with Andy to seek out the reclusive space ranger. It only seemed to increase his alienation of her, so she stopped. Eleven years of living in the same room and being owned by the same kid never brought them closer. Eventually Jessie learned to ignore his aversion to her. She wasn't going to change. This was who she had been created to be all those years ago. Tough if he didn't like it.

But now, after having gone through Hell and back with all of Andy's toys to finally become settled in a new home with a new kid, Jessie was seeing things with a whole new set of plastic eyes. So much had changed in just a short time. Not the least bit unimportant was what she had gone through with Buzz. She thought about that now, seeing his reaction to her as they were both heading to their end with the fires of a trash incinerator staring them down, never mind his whole bravado act when he had been switched into his Spanish mode. Jessie now saw what she had mistaken for dislike all those years. He'd been nervous, not programmed to show her how he really felt. She reckoned that toy spacemen were not wired with the proper directions on how to woo a damsel, and she certainly wasn't what any toy maker had ever thought appropriate for a Buzz Lightyear action figure. She had seen it, though, when they both were on their way to being done for. The way he looked at her and reached out his hand to hold hers. It was his way of telling her what he had been unable to all these years. It only took their impending doom for him to finally make it known.

Still though, what did she know about love? She was a toy. Love for Jessie was in the way a child played with her. It was when her owner hugged her close while they slept at night, or lightly kissed her before bed. Sure, she had seen other toys pair off into relationships, but they were usually programmed that way. The Potato Heads had obviously been made for each other, the same for Ken and Barbie. Some toys were created by toy companies to be the other's equal, there was no doubt they would feel a connection beyond friendship. But what if those toy companies, or TV programmers in her case, had never thought to bring a love interest along? What did you did then? What did she do then? Was it possible to find love beyond that of a child-toy bond? Was it possible for her to fall in love?

Those questions came to her nearly every second of every moment since settling in at Bonnie's. After a time of trying to make sense of it all Jessie simply gave up, because there had always been an answer. She was in love and it was different. It was frightening to her, but all the same exciting.


End file.
